True love or not true love
by SpiritFeather19524
Summary: Lieutenant Killian Hook Jones and Princess Emma have been best friends for years, ever since Killian at the age of three had walked into Emma's room, where she was crying in her cot and had started talking to her. What happens when they realize they might be true loves but are determined to fight it and then her family is attacked? Snowing, outlaw queen, victor/red established
1. Emma's 17th ball

**So this is my second once upon a time story so please be nice. I will admit I ship captain swan. I really don't understand swanfire (is that the bae/Emma ship? I can't remember). He's already left her once. That was just bad form. **

**This is a song fic cause I think this song if sooooo Killian/hook, whatever you want to call him he's hot!**

**I do not own Once Upon a Time or it's characters.**

**This is based on the song DNA =D**

**Please review!**

It's the blue in his eyes that helps me see the future  
Fingerprints that leave me covered for days, yeah, hey, yeah  
Now I don't have any first degree  
But I know, what he does to me  
No need to work it out, it's so familiar, ooh, ooh, ooh

And my heart won't beat again  
If I can't feel him in my veins  
No need to question, I already know

It's in his DNA  
D-D-D-DNA  
It's in his DNA  
And he just takes my breath away  
B-b-b-breath away  
I feel it every day,  
And that's what makes a man  
Not hard to understand  
Perfect in every way  
I see it in his face  
Nothing more to say  
It's in his D-D-D-DNA 

Emma glared up at him. "No."

Killian smirked at her. "Come on love."

Emma just glared at him, trying not to notice how good he looked or how his hand on her arm was leaving her breathless and tingly but by the glint in his eyes she knows so well let's her know that he's accurately guessing what she is thinking, and feeling.

"Don't use your charms, what little there is of them, to get out of this Killian Jones. If my parents are making me suffer you have to suffer right along with me."

"But I'm not royalty."

"Not in the sense I am but you are the son of a Duke. Besides it doesn't matter, you're my best friend so you have to come."

Killian Jones and Emma Charming had been friends since Killian at the age of three had walked into Emma's room, where she was crying in her cot and had started talking to her. Emma immediately stopped crying and stared at young boy and since then rarely have they not been together causing some strife in the palace.

"You are the only princess I know that would think a ball for her seventeenth birthday was torture."

"And you're the only lieutenant in my father's whole navy that doesn't want to go flirt with all the young ladies at the ball."

"Perhaps they just haven't _met_ all the young ladies like I have."

Emma smacked him in the chest with the back of her hand. "Shoo Killian. My mother will be here soon to torture me."

Killian rolled his eyes and bowed mockingly at her. "Of course your royal highness. Whatever you wish your highness."

Emma raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not sure you could take that Jones."

Killian smirked; his blue eyes once again getting that familiar glint in them. "I think you'd be surprised by what I can take Charming."

He got out of the room quick smart then, the hair brush Emma threw just missing his head.

"See you at the ball love," he said poking his head in the door way then going off to his room to get ready.

She rolled her eyes again and smiled to herself. He's was an incorrigible scoundrel but he was Killian so Emma had to love him even when she hated him.

She often wondered what it was about him that she couldn't resist. His blue eyes that always made her think of a life they could have together, his black hair, his innuendos that he loved saying, his flirty nature, how he lived by his own rules, how he had her back, never lied to her, his stubbornness, how he is always a gentleman, his belief that a man should fight for what he wants, or was it simply him?

Her mother came in while she thought about him, and gently put her hand on her should.

"Come on Emma, it's time to get ready," She said gently.

They get ready, joking together, needing no help from the servants. Only Johanna helps, who is family to both of them, especially Snow.

Snow was dressed in a dark green dress, with the sleeves falling off her shoulders with a sweetheart neckline. The dress had roses embodied all over it, with a simple emerald necklace, earrings and bracelet. Her hair was pulled up, kept in place with emerald hairpins.

Emma wore a dark blue dress with no sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. Like her mother's it also had roses embodied all over it, with a sapphire choker, earrings and bracelets. Her hair was half up, half down, with ringlets framing her face. Her mother, who wore simple makeup herself, decided to the same with Emma so both wore light brown eye shadow with red lips.

Emma smiled at herself, then made her way, arms linked with her mother's to the side entrance hall, from which they would make their entrance.

Killian and her father waited for them and when they saw Emma their jaws dropped.

"You know I don't think I should let you out tonight Emma. I'm afraid someone might steal you from me," Charming said once he got his thoughts together.

Emma laughed at her father as she hugged him. "Well I have no problem with that at all Dad, but you might want to talk to Mum about that."

Charming looked over at his wife and then back down at his daughter. "So now we both get tortured then. Me with having to watch all these young men trying to win your heart and you with having to break them."

"I'm not sure she finds that all that torturous mate. She gets great enjoyment breaking mine every day," Killian interjected, unable to help himself.

Emma rolled her eyes at him. "You are such a princess Killian."

"I'd have to take your word on that _Princess_ Emma," he replied.

Emma opened her mouth to snap some witty comment back when the trumpets sounded and both she and her father groaned.

"You are defiantly your father's child," Snow sighed as she linked arms with Charming while Emma and Killian did the same thing.

"You make that sound like a bad thing Snow," Charming replied, smiling at his wife.

"That's because it is," she replied, staring forward, but Charming knew she was trying to fight a smile. Killian looked over at Emma who fake gagged at her parents' moment.

"King James and Queen Snow," Happy called out.

Snow and Charming smiled at Emma and Killian before they made their way out to the thunderous applause that awaited them.

Emma gripped tightly onto Killian's arm for a second then almost as quickly loosened her grip.

"Princess Emma and Lieutenant Killian Hook Jones," Grumpy called out and both Emma and Killian could hear the amusement in his voice at calling Killian Hook. Killian had lost his hand at the age of four, thanks to his father's mistress's husband, who had swung with his sword at the same time Killian had put his hand in the way, trying in vain to stop the man hurting his father, which it did just not in the way Killian had planned. The man took Killian with him when he left, straight to King James. A hook was given to him and he's had the nickname ever since.

Grumpy and the dwarves had taken Killian and his brother Liam in, at the man's request and looked after them, encouraging both men to join the navy when they reached the age of 15. Grumpy or Duke Grumpy as he was called at these events, much to Charming's, Snow's, Emma's and Killian's delight, was Killian's adopted father, having bonded with the boy when he first came to see Emma.

Killian's mother passed away shortly after Killian and his brother moved in with the dwarves, with their father being banished by Charming shortly afterwards. Thankfully Charming and Snow allowed both boys to keep their right as Dukes to their parents' lands and their fortunes but neither could access the fortune until Killian, the younger of the two, turned 25.

"You know I swear he enjoys calling me Hook more than calling me by my actual name," Killian muttered to Emma as they made their way down the stairs.

"He's been doing that for the last 17 years Killian, do you really expect him to stop now?" Emma asked, smiling at her friend.

"No but it got you to smile love," Killian replied, smirking.

Emma had to resist rolling her eyes at him, as they finally reached the bottom of the stairs and made their way to sit behind Snow and Charming.

Snow and Charming both gave short speeches all about Emma before Charming took Emma's hand and danced with her.

"Good luck Emma," Charming said, smiling at his daughter's look of horror she shot him before she put up her mask as young eligible man begged her to dance as they finished up their dance together.

Throughout the night Killian, Charming and the dwarves tried to save Emma as much as they could but all the young men were of course smitten with her and did their best to try to dance with her.

Emma, claiming to need to catch her breath left a group of them there on the dance floor as she made her way to the back of the hall. She leaned against the wall, exhausted.

"Having fun?" Red, her god mother, asked walking up to her.

"I will be once tonight is over," Emma replied. "I am tired of all of these fakes trying to win my affections like I'm some trophy."

"You know sometimes I think your mother was glad she was a bandit and your father a shepherd because both of them would never be able to do all of this. I remember your mother telling me once that she actually threatened to stab someone at her 18th ball, so you are making it through better than she did."

Emma and Red laughed, imagining an 18 year old Snow threating someone but the laughter died in Emma's throat a moment laughter.

She had spotted Killian leaning against the wall, a mere couple of metres away with a young girl, a year younger then Emma, who was running her hand over his chest, all the while he just smirked at her.


	2. Feelings emerge and fights ensure

**I do not own Once Upon a Time or it's characters.**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you to gingerbread122 for being the first person to follow this story!**

**Thank you to AB18, CarmzCullen, always-as-you-wish-love, behager, emmaLozzy, hakunaamatataa and oncerCSgeek98 for favouriting this story =D**

**Thank you to AB18, Boothsdoll061, CPPDancer, Colinodonewithyou, LegoHouse, MaxandThalia, Pascale d'Artagna, Tris97, behager, emmaLozzy, hakunaamatataa and xSoph for following this story =D**

**A huge thank you to Colinodonewithyou for being the first person to review this story! Thank you so much you have literally just made my day, thank you! =D**

**Thank you all of you, it means a lot that (im assuming) that you all like this story, its kind of my baby.**

**This was meant to be a one shot but I got carried away with this story so…. Enjoy! (and please review)**

Red saw her goddaughter go pale and she turned and ran out of the hall. Red looked behind her to see Killian flirting with some red haired girl.

"Go away," She snapped at the girl, after she walked over to them.

"Who's going to make me?" The girl sneered, as Killian looked at Red. He knew he was in trouble, but he wasn't sure for what.

"The Queen's best friend and her daughter's godmother who also happens to turn into a wolf every now and again," Red snapped, the girl ran off while Red smirked at her then turned to glare at Killian.

"You're very luck I don't tear you limb from limb right now," she growled at him.

"Why? What did I do?" He asked looking up at her, unafraid. He knew that Red won't hurt him but he also knew to be on guard when she was angry, especially at him.

"There could be the fact that Emma saw you flirting with that girl," Grumpy interjected before Red could rip into him.

Killian swore. "I swear I wasn't flirting back," he told them.

Red snorted. "You are a serial flirt Killian Jones. Why would we believe you?"

"Because why would I flirt with her? She cheated on Graham a few months ago with Bae and ever since has been trying to get with me. I smirked and send her on her way every few days."

Red shook her head. "That's not what it looked like Killian and you know it."

"She always rubs her hand across my chest. It does no good to knock her way because she just keeps doing it."

"Then you need to go talk to Emma Killian because she's hurt."

"Why it's not like she cares about me," he replied bitterly. Emma was his sore spot and everyone knew it. "She never takes me serious, even when I'm being serious and she's been dancing with all the young single men around all night."

"You know she's afraid of getting her heart broke again. She was a wreck after Bae and we all know it. And you know she hated dancing with all those boys," Grumpy pointed out. "Why else would Charming _and_ Snow keep sending us all to dance with her."

Killian sighed. "She's going to hate me now."

"Go talked to her then Killian," Red said softly, feeling sorry for the young man. She knew how much the two of them loved each other, even if they didn't know it themselves yet.

Emma ran, not seeing where she was going until she collapsed is some neglected hallway, no longer able to hear the music for the ball.

_This is why I don't trust,_ she thought bitterly. She and Killian had been flirting with each other for months when they haven't been fighting and she thought he knew how she felt and she had hoped he had felt the same way, but obviously she was wrong.

"Hey Emma are you ok?" Regina, her step grandmother asked. Even though she had left Emma's grandfather for Robin Hood he still let her be a part of Snow's, and then Emma's and Graham's lives.

"Killian," she said in one word and Regina wrapped her arms around her.

"Would you like to come and stay with me for a while dear? I promise no Killian and no boys," Regina said quietly, stroking Emma's hair, who nodded into her shoulder.

"But granddad, Henry, Roland and Cooper are ok," Emma said, leaning back slightly to look her grandmother in the eyes.

Regina laughed, smiling at her. "I'm glad you think so, because all four adore you my darling."

"Could you ask my parents for me Grandma? I just don't feel like facing anyone tonight."

Regina nodded and stroked Emma's cheek. "Of course."

Killian sat against her door as Emma finally made her way back to her room a few hours later.

"Emma can I talk to you?" Killian asked, standing up as soon as he heard her coming towards him.

"Killian I'm tired. Please just go," Emma replied, not looking at him. She just didn't have it in her. He didn't want her and she didn't want to go through the rejection, again. It was bad enough when Bae cheated on her with that girl three years ago, now Killian decides that he rather that girl more than her, well fine, she knew where she stood.

"Please Emma," he begged, grabbing her arm as she made her way into her room.

"Let go of me Jones," Emma warned.

"It's not what you think."

"How would you know what I think? Can you read my mind?"

"No –"

"So leave Jones. I know how this ends, with my heart breaking and you just wearing your usual smirk, without a care in the world."

"If that what you really think of me _Charming_? That I am so heartless?" He pulled her so she was facing him, their bodies inches apart.

"Doesn't matter what I think _Jones_ because that's how this ends, no matter what you say." Emma tried not to think about the heat coming of him, but it felt like her body was on fire. She met his eyes which made her feel like she was swimming in a deep lake, but she could see the pain and anger in his eyes, just like she knew he could see it in her eyes.

Killian kissed her, and Emma got lost in the feel of him. She curled her fist into his hair dragging him closer to her, while her other arm stayed in his grip. Killian moved his hook to her lowed back and pressed her into him, closing what little space there was between them.

Emma felt like she was on fire. The kiss was so full of passion and anger but not love. It was like there were trying to win against each other in this kiss, to prove who hurt more. _That's not what it should have been about,_ she thought to herself and she pulled away.

"Please just leave me alone Killian. I can't deal with the rejection, not again," she whispered, and then she tugged her arm away from him and slammed her door behind her. She collapsed against it, staring without seeing unaware Killian had done the same thing on the other side of the door.


	3. homecoming

**I do not own Once Upon a Time or it's characters.**

**Thank you to AB18, CarmzCullen, FierceHooker, Live-Laugh-Love12535, always-as-you-wish-love, behager, emmaLozzy, hakunaamatataa, oncerCSgeek98 and queenfizz30 for favouriting this story =D**

**Thank you to AB18, Boothsdoll061, CPPDancer, Clover10164, Colinodonewithyou, LegoHouse, Live-Laugh-Love12535, MargotT, MaxandThalia, Miles2GoBeforeISleep, Miss Cannibal Princess, Mzbossyboots, Pascale d'Artagna, SylviaRose13, TashaRose, The Fallen Angel 13, Tris97, Zebo8605, behager, emmaLozzy, gingerbread 122, hakunaamatataa, ouatcs, palomapponce and zSoph for following this story =)**

**Thank you to Colinodonewithyou and ouatcs for reviewing!**

**Thank you all of you, it means a lot that (im assuming) that you all like this story, its kind of my baby.**

**This was meant to be a one shot but I got carried away with this story so…. Enjoy! (and please review)**

There was a time, that we'd stay up all night  
Best friends, yeah, talking 'til the daylight  
Took the joys alongside the pain  
With not much to lose but so much to gain  
Are you hearing me? 'Cause I don't wanna miss,  
That you would drift on memory bliss

"Emma!" Snow shouted, running down the stairs of the palace to hug her daughter. Emma had been gone for three and a half months and both Snow and Charming had missed their daughter dearly.

"I've missed you Mum," Emma whispered into Snow's shoulder as they held each other tightly. Grumpy cleared his throat and they separated with Snow glaring at him.

"I want to hug my god-daughter too," he replied, and hugged Emma before Snow could respond. All the dwarves and Red hugged her, as Regina, Robin, Rolland, Henry and Cooper stepped out of the carriage.

"Where is my son-in-law?" Regina asked, embracing Snow.

"He's gone on a hunt with Peter and some of the Captains of the army and navy. I had to get him out for a few days, he was driving me insane," Snow replied as Robin stepped forwards to hug her, followed by Rolland, Henry and Cooper.

"Hear hear," the dwarves said making Regina and Emma laugh, but they all noticed how forced Emma's laugh sounded.

"Well I hope he is home soon. He promised me a drink," Robin smiled. He and his son-in-law had a good friendship and often had a drink together when they met up.

"He will be back before dinner," Snow promised as they made their way into the castle.

"He'll be back way before then. He's been quite miserable without Emma," Red smiled at her god daughter who looked up then and smiled.

"Well I've missed him too."

"So you haven't missed your mother?" Snow faked hurt, causing everyone else to laugh.

"I've course I've missed you Mum, but I've already seen you. I haven't seen Dad so I still miss him," She replied.

They all made their way into the dining room where Snow, Charming, the dwarves, Killian, Graham, Peter, Red's twins and Red normally had their meal together and where Regina, Robin, Rolland, Henry and Cooper had their meals as well when they visited.

They ate lunch, talking quietly catching up on what they had missed, but Snow noticed how withdrawn her daughter was, and how frequently she looked at the door, flinching slightly every time it opened.

Emma however smiled Graham walked it. Emma got up and raced over to him, hugging him.

"I have missed you so much little brother," She said as they hugged each other tightly. Graham was named after a hunter that had spared their mother's life, when Regina was out to get her. Unfortunately the huntsman died, shortly after Emma's birth when some highway robbers had ambushed him on this way home, killing him and his wolf.

"I missed you too," he said quietly as they pulled apart and he gently wiped a tear away from her face.

She smiled at him then and squeezed his hand. Through there was a year and three months separating them they were very close.

They sat together for the rest of lunch, head together talking quietly. Graham had visited her while she was a Regina's but they had still missed each other.

They took a walk together, arm in arm after lunch was over, in the garden her father had made when she was born and extended after Graham's birth. They had spent a lot of time there, playing and learning how to fight along with Killian, Liam, Kylee and Nathan, Red's 17 year old twins.

Emma stared around the garden, loving the scents surrounding them. Roses, acacias, violets, lilies, asters, geraniums, Queen Anne laces, lilacs, lavender, moonflowers, morning glories, forget-me-nots, myrtle, spring-beauties and snapdragons surrounded them, with tall trees throughout the garden providing plenty of shade that they had loved to climb as children.

Emma and Graham made their way to their trees, all of them had claimed a tree in the garden, and even Henry, Cooper and Rolland had their own tree. Their tree was somewhere they all went when they were upset. Emma's and Graham's were so close that there was a branch that linked the two together.

They climbed their trees and sat on the branch that connected the trees together, staring out at the garden.

Emma looked over at Killian's. They all had rope bridges going to all the trees, making a maze they all had raced through as children, and there was a bridge that joined theirs together. Emma remembered coming down here with him and spending the whole day in the garden talking and later, as they grew older sneaking down here at night, to talk, sometimes with everyone and sometimes just with him. She remembered a night they had spent talking until the sun peaked through the leaves.

"Swan you know I love you right?" Graham asked, breaking the silence that had enveloped them as he looked over at her.

"Yeah I know Graham and I love you too," she replied, smiling over at him. "You know none of you have told me why you call me Swan."

"Well Hook thought of it. Nathan, Liam, him and I were here in the garden talking about how he was the only one with a nickname and we decided that we all need one. He said that you would be Swan, because you're beautiful and graceful like one and we all agreed with him."

"Oh."

"Then I was hunter because I was named after the huntsman. Kylee was obviously Lav because of how she always smells like lavender, Nathan was moony because of Red and Liam was Captain because of how much he wanted to join the navy."

"Did you make one for Rolland, Henry and Cooper?"

"Yeah Rolland was arrow obviously because of Grandpa, Henry was Champion because I mean that's what he is and always will be and Cooper was night, because of how dark his hair is and because he's always loved the night."

Emma smiled at her brother, but he could see that pain that was in it and in her eyes. "They are good nicknames. I'm glad I know the reasons now Hunter."

Graham just looked at her carefully, not laughing like she thought he would and she looked away, uncomfortable underneath his gaze.

"Emma where are you?" Their father called, before Graham could speak and Emma climbed down the tree and raced to her father, hugging him tightly and Graham slowly made his way down as well.

A tear rolled down Emma's check as she pressed her face into her father's chest as he hugged her closer to him.

"I've missed you Dad," she whispered as Charming stoked her hair.

"I've missed you too."

The two always had a special bond while Snow and Graham shard their own. Emma remembered spending hours just sitting on her father's lap as he told her stories and information about their kingdom and he was the one to suggest she learn how to fight.

They pulled apart and Charming put his arm around her shoulder and then did the same thing to Graham and they walked back to the castle, laughing and talking.

Emma walked to the garden, sword on her hip, daggers attached to her other hip, arms and legs and bow and quiver strapped to her back. Beside her walked Nathan, Kylee and Graham, carrying the same weapons as her. She had been back a week and Regina, Robin, Rolland, Henry and Cooper had left the day before so Nathan, Kylee and Graham had convinced her to spend the morning practising with the weapons followed by spending the afternoon by the lake nearby.

Emma and Kylee walked around the garden, shotting at random targets and throwing their daggers, as Graham and Nathan practised their sword work. Once they collected their arrows and daggers for the tenth time they swapped with Graham and Nathan.

All of them where experts with bows, daggers and swords, though none of them could better Charming or Snow, but they were getting close.

Emma and Kylee separated, Emma removing her sword from Kylee's neck when Kylee noticed something over Emma's shoulder and glared.

A chill went through Emma and she turned around. She noticed Liam first with his brown hair and kind blue eyes, smiling at her, as tall as her brother, Nathan and Killian. He wore his uniform and Emma saw that he had been promoted to Captain. She stubbornly refused to look at the person who had walked in with him.

"Hello Emma," he said, stepping forward to hug her.

"Hello Liam," she said softly, hugging him. Emma had always thought of him as her big brother and she knew he thought of them all as his little brothers and sisters. "Congratulations on being promoted Captain Captain."

He laughed. "I had no idea that your father was going to promoted me. I'm still in shock."

"Well I can't think of anyone who deserves it more," Nathan said patting him on the back, as he and Graham came over to stand with them, both of them glaring at Killian.

Emma allowed herself to look at him then, noticing the week old stubble on his face and the shadows under his eyes, as he was noticing how tired she looked she was sure.

"Hi," he said, looking at her.


	4. I am done with you

**I do not own Once Upon a Time or it's characters.**

**Ok I can't believe I have 46 followers, I think I am in shock! And 19 favourites, I'm just in awe that you guys like my story! Thank you too you all for the support and following and favouriting this story, it means so much to me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

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**Ouatcs – this is a bit late seeing as it's chapter 4 im posting and you commented on chapter 2 but anyway I'm glad you are loving this story =) thank you for the support **

**Colindonewithyou – this is a bit late seeing as it's chapter 4 im posting and you commented on chapter 2 but anyway your welcome for the note, I was thrilled when you reviewed this story, I apoligize for ending chapter two there but I just couldn't help myself. I'm sad to say I will properly do that again, but I hope you like where I'm going with this story**

**Thank you all of you (again), it means a lot that (im assuming) that you all like this story, its kind of my baby.**

**Enjoy! (and please review!)**

It's been a while since the two of us talked  
About a week since the day that you walked  
Knowing things would never be the same  
With your empty heart and mine full of pain  
So explain to me, how it came to this  
Take it back to the night we kissed  
It was Dublin city on a Friday night  
With vodkas and coke, I was Guinness all night

We were sitting with our backs against the world  
Saying things that we thought but never heard  
Oh, who would have thought it would end up like this?  
Where everything we talked about is gone  
And the only chance we have of moving on  
Is trying to take it back before it all went wrong

Before the worst, before we met  
Before our hearts decide  
It's time to love again  
Before too late, before too long  
Let's try to take it back  
Before it all went wrong

"Hi," she responded softly, looking away from him, over at the others, feeling his gaze on her face.

"We'll be over there Emma if you need us," Kylee said softly, pointing over at the seat under Cooper's tree, squeezing her hand slightly, giving Emma support. Emma smiled at her sadly as she started to walk away.

Emma saw Graham and Nathan pause as they walked pass Killian and knew they were giving him a warning, as Kylee and William moved them away. She turned around and walked over to the Gazebo, knowing that Killian would follow, he always did. She sat down and Killian sat across from her. She could feel everyone staring over at them and she could feel Killian staring at her. She waved her hand, casting a spell so no one could hear them, only see them.

"Where have you been?" Killian asked abruptly, breaking the silence.

"With my grandmother. She's been showing me how to get better control over my powers because they have been a bit out of control recently."

"Does she know why?"

"She has a few theories," she replied, short and to the point. She didn't want to tell him about the theories because they all involved him. They fell back into being silent, Killian still looking at her, while she looked at him, the kiss over took her thoughts and she looked away.

_Don't set yourself up Emma. Your heart has already been hurt enough by him and by males in general. He obviously is fine, he's as unbothered and carefree as ever_, Emma told herself, but she knew that while he looked unbothered and carefree the shadows under his eyes and the week old stubble told another story. She figured it was because he was embarrassed to be around her and had been nervous about seeing her again.

Emma wished it could all go back to before it all went wrong, when they were still best friends and her heart still able to love again. She knew however that everything was gone now and they couldn't fix it no matter how much they wanted to.

"Your mother told Liam that she was going to throw a ball to celebrate him becoming a Captain, but he's worried about what everyone will think."

"Well she has always done that with all the Captains so he shouldn't worry. It's not his fault his close with my family and he deserves this. No one can deny that," Emma replied looking back at him.

"Lee can. You know what he's like."

"Yes I do."

"Your mother asked if I'd be escorting you again, but I told her I wasn't sure. I thought I'd leave it up to you."

Emma dropped her gaze. _See he won't even fight for me. Killian believes in fighting for what he wants and he doesn't want me._ Emma felt the tears in her eyes, but she blinked them away.

"I'll go with Liam. I always get escorted by the Captain the ball is for at these events."

"Of course. Will your brother be coming this time?"

"I assume so. He was very upset about missing my ball just to go talk to Abigail. Even though he likes her it's not nice being in another kingdom for a sibling's birthday. I know he and I spent his birthday together at Grandma's but he's still a bit upset about missing mine."

"So he should be. Anyone would be in his position," Killian replied and he went back to staring at her, like her was drinking up the sight of her like animal that had been deprived of water for too long. He couldn't help himself. Three and a half months was a long time not to see someone who you were once so close with, that you care for so deeply, especially knowing you where the reason they went way.

"Can you please stop staring at me?" Emma snapped, glaring at him, again breaking the awkward silence that had fallen between them. He hadn't taken his eyes off her since she noticed him in the garden and it was getting on her nerves. He had no right to stare at her like that. Like he actually cared.

"Why would I do that love?"

"Because it's making me uncomfortable!" She shouted at him, leaping up off her feet. Around her she felt the spell shatter under her sudden anger but she didn't care.

"And we all should be worried about what makes the _precious princess Emma_ _uncomfortable_!" Killian snapped back, on his feet now.

"It's not like you care anyway. You're selfish and self-serving!"

"I can't be I'm not a bloody princess!"

"No, you're a worthless lieutenant that sleeps around trying to get his heart working. Guess what your heart is black and broken Hook, just like you!"

"At least I'm true to who I am Swan. I've never lied about who I am to impress someone who ended up breaking your heart!"

Both were so close to each other now that they could feel the heat and anger radiating of the other. Graham and everyone else just stepped into the Gazebo as Emma slapped Killian, making him stagger back.

"Stay away from me Hook. Whatever friendship we've had is over. You are nothing and mean nothing to me. I am done with you," she said softly, and walked away, leaving them all to stare after her in shock.

Emma slammed her door close and started to rip her shirt off and throw it off. She walked over to the mirror and started at the scar that ran from her right shoulder, stopping just below her heart. When she was eight and Killian was eleven he had saved her life by pulling her back when a bandit attached her, however he had pulled her back with his hook and the tip had cut her. Her magic had then made an identical cut on him. She knew Regina had thought it was her true love magic inside identifying her true love but Emma wasn't so sure, and she knew that why Regina thought her magic was playing up but Killian had just proved without a doubt that he didn't care about her.

Emma removed the remain clothes on her body and changed into her riding gear and then, taking her weapons with her she walked down to the stables, being careful to avoid everybody. She made it to the stables and went and saddled her horse Ruby Rose. A red coloured horse with a pattern on her back that always reminded Emma of a rose.

She set out, riding for she didn't know how long. Eventually she stopped when she reached the beach and slowing Ruby Rose to a walked, they made their way to the caves where Emma took off Ruby Rose's saddle and let her wander around.

Emma cast two spells then, one that made sure Ruby Rose wouldn't wander far from and a second that would ensure that no one would see or hear either of them.

Emma went and sat against the cave staring out at the ocean, hugging her legs closer to her body.

She had known for a while that her relationship with Killian slowly falling apart but she did nothing to stop it. Before her ball was the first time in months they had actually been able to interact normally with one another, like they use to but that was all gone now, both of them had made sure of that this afternoon, both not caring about how much they destroyed one another.

By herself, cut off from everyone Emma finally allowed herself to cry. She cried because she was well and truly broken. Bae hadn't wanted her and had cheated on her for months, all the way telling her that he loved her and would marry her, then she started to fall for Killian and not even he wanted her.

The worst thing was she couldn't even move on with her life. The scar on her chest over her heart reminded her of Killian every single day and every single person she knew reminded her of him. There was no way she would ever move on and no way she could ever be with him.

"Emma!" A voice called out and Emma's recognised her father's voice. She stared out at the ocean, knowing he couldn't find her.

She saw him make his way down the beach where she was, his white horse Star following behind him. She remained staring out at the ocean and then was surprise when her father sat down next to her.

_Of course he can see through my magic. He's the reason I have magic,_ Emma scolded herself. She forgot time to time her parents and Graham could see through her magic because it was a product of Snow's and Charming's true love. Snow and Charming could see through it because they well created her and Graham could because he was a product of their true love too.

"Graham told me what happened, and so did everyone in the garden, including Killian," Charming said softly, as he stretched out beside his daughter, both staring out at the ocean now.

"I thought they would," She replied softly.

"Your brother is ready to kill Killian but Grumpy and Liam are keeping them apart."

Emma didn't respond, but Charming didn't expect her to.

"Why do bad things just seem to follow me around Dad? I can't ever catch a break," Emma asked a while later.

"I don't know Emma, but I do know you need to be mindful of the moments in life."

"The moments?"

"The good ones and the bad ones. You're like your mother; you both get so caught up in the bad moments that you forget to take in the good ones. The bad moments are always going to be there but the trick is to notice the good ones."

Emma looked over at Charming then and leant her head against his shoulder.

"They're all worth living," she said softly.

"They are, just keep that in mind Emma," he replied, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer.

"Thanks Dad."

"Anytime Emma." He kissed the top of her head. "Your mother is trying to organise for Neal to be at the ball for Liam. She's hoping you will give him another chance."

Emma snorted. "Yeah good luck with that."

"He's not that bad Emma."

"Says the man who wants to kill him."

"I only want to kill him because he's interested in taking my girl from me. Considering your would be suitors he's the one that makes me want to kill him less, though not by much. Besides he's apologized for other things as well."

Emma laughed. "Are you sure that you aren't pushing me towards him for another reason?"

"Like what?"

"Like keeping me away from hook."

"You think I'm interested in hook? Emma I'm a married man."

Emma laughed then, Charming joining in but he could sense the hurt underlying his daughter's laughter. He knew there were only ever two reasons she referred to Killian as Hook. The first was to get under his skin and the second was when it hurt her to call him Killian. He knew that she would separate the Killian that had hurt her to the Lieutenant by calling him Hook because that's what everyone in the navy most commonly called him. He just hoped that his daughter wasn't going to be permanently scared by this but he knew how much Killian meant to her and how much she meant to him.


	5. attack

**I do not own Once Upon a Time or it's characters or the songs/**

**Ok I can't believe I have 56 followers, I think I am in shock! And 23 favourites, I'm just in awe that you guys like my story! Thank you too you all for the support and following and favouriting this story, it means so much to me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**Colindonewithyou – i felt the same away about the last chapter when i wrote it but sadly i had to end it there for this chapter to work. I shall try to work in some jealous Killian for you soon =) but you might have to wait =)**

**Thank you all of you (again), it means a lot that (im assuming) that you all like this story, its kind of my baby.**

**Enjoy! (and please review!)**

Yeah, it's plain to see  
That baby your beautiful and it's  
nothing wrong with you  
It's me, I'm a freak, yeah  
But thanks for lovin' me 'cause you're  
doing it perfectly

Yeah, there might have been a time  
When I would let you slip away  
I won't even try  
But I think you could save my life

Just don't give up, I'm workin' it out  
Please don't give in, I won't let you down  
It messed me up, need a second to  
breathe  
Just keep coming around

Hey, whataya want from me?  
Whataya want from me?  
Whataya want from me?  
Whataya want from me?  
Whataya want from me?

Just don't give up on me

A week passed with both Emma and Killian managing not so see one another and with Liam and Grumpy successful managing to keep Graham from killing Killian as well. Of course all this hard work would go out the window because tonight was the night of the ball.

Emma looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a red full length form fitting dress that had a love heart neckline and thin straps. She wore her hair up in a bun with Snow deciding to put eyeliner on Emma, making her eyes stand out with of course red lipstick. Emma wore only a few ruby hairpins, earrings and a rose necklace made out of a single ruby as accessories.

Snow wore a white and black dress, same cut as her dress to Emma's ball with a diamond necklace, bracelet, earrings and hair pins. Again she had gone for light makeup with her hair pinned up.

"Will you be ok tonight Emma?" Snow asked as she placed the last hairpin in Emma's hair.

Emma met her mother's gaze through the mirror. "I honestly have no idea. I'm a little afraid in all truth, I mean it's going to be the first time I see him in a week and we didn't exactly part on friendly terms."

"So you need to put it right."

"Why Mum? He's not going to fight for me when it's obvious how I feel about him. He's obviously embarrassed by me lo-liking him," Emma caught herself quickly but she knew her mother had caught her almost slip up and was thankful that she decided not to comment on it.

"Emma you know what Killian is like. Even at a young age there were only two things he risked his life for –"

"Love and revenge. Yes I know Mum, he told me enough times that it's drilled into my head," Emma snapped. "Sorry," she added, looking away.

Snow kissed the top of Emma's head. "Just remember you're the only person he's ever risked his life for sweetheart. Things always have a way for working themselves out in the end."

"Like you and dad?"

"Yes like me and your father. Just have hope Emma."

"It's easy for you to say Mum. _You_ have your happy ever after."

"My happy ever after won't come until you and Graham are happy Emma, same with your father."

Emma looked carefully at her mother then, taking in the beauty, grace, wisdom, innocence, kindness, love and bravery that always radiated off her. Emma remembered telling Kylee that is she was ever a fraction like her mother she would be thankful. Emma stood and embraced Snow.

"I love you Mum."

"I love you too Emma."

"Princess Emma and Captain Liam Jones," Sneezy called out, of course ending it with a sneezing fit. Emma smiled up at Liam and they made their way out into the ballroom, followed by Graham and Kylee.

Emma sat down next to her parents and once Graham had sat down and the crowd settle did she stand up again.

"Thank you all for coming. As you know for the last few years my brother Graham and I have had the honour of introducing our new Captains of our army and Navy at the ball our mother, Queen Snow holds for them. Now I will admit Graham and I had a bit of a disagreement over who got to introduce this particular Captain," Emma turned her head to smile at Liam, who looked back at her suspiciously. He knew better than to trust Emma when she smiled sweetly at him, or at anyone.

"But we decided that as this Captain, who is a close friend will have to suffer with dealing with both of us." Graham said as he moved to stand next to Emma. "Something we had thought to be too cruel for any other Captain." Both paused to allow the crowd to laugh then, while Liam blushed slightly.

"So both Graham and I along with our parents are proud to introduce-"

"Captain Liam Jonathan Jones," Emma and Graham finished together.

Liam stood and bowed, blushing more making Emma and Graham laugh. Emma kissed him on the cheek.

"Come one Captain it's time for a dance," she teased and then allowed him to escort her to the dance floor, followed closely by Graham, Kylee, Snow, Charming, Peter, Red, Nathan and his date Alexandra.

Emma and Liam danced, with hin telling her amusing observations he had made about others at the ball. Emma had almost forgot that Killian was there, except for the fact she could feel him watching her.

Once the song ended Liam bowed, smirking as the young suitors made their way over to Emma.

"Good luck," he told her and quickly disappeared before Emma could hit him.

"May I have this dance?" A tall dark haired suitor asked Emma and she nodded, distracted by a pair of blue eyes.

The song started and Emma looked up at her partner and glared.

"So Neal are you ever going to tell my father your _real name_?"

"Your father knows I'm Bealfire, but he, unlike you Emma, believes in second chances," Neal replied, twirling her.

"I believe in it to, for people who show they deserve it," Emma retorted.

Neal looked down at her. "I admit leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life. I told your father that straight to his face and I told him why I did. He understood and said that so long as I didn't break your heart again he won't stop me courting you."

"Shame on you for tricking him. Convenient how you failed to mention cheating on me and how _I _left _you_." The song ended and Neal bowed to Emma.

"I mentioned it Emma and I mentioned why I did and I won't give up without a fight," he told her and then walked away.

Another suitor made their way to Emma but before he could speak a hand grabbed Emma's and spun her around. Emma knew the moment the hand touched her who it was. There was only one person who would start dancing with her without asking her beforehand and there was only one person who's touch made her feel like flames were crawling on her skin.

"You look rather ravishing tonight Emma,' Killian told her as the song started.

"That's _Princess_ Emma _Lieutenant_. Please do not familiarise yourself with me," Emma snapped, glaring over his shoulder, refusing to meet his gaze which she could feel on her face.

"Of course _Princess Emma_. My mistake," Killian smirked, twirling her around. "Did you enjoy your talk with Bea?"

"That's not of your business _Lieutenant Jones_," Emma snapped again, her nails digging onto his shoulder, hoping to make him shut up.

"I think you and I shall just have to agree to disagree there _Princess_."

"There is nothing to disagree over. It's none of your business."

"As one of your oldest friends I do believe it's my business to ensure you don't get hurt."

"If you do see my oldest friend _Lieutenant Jones_ please tell Killian I miss him," Emma retorted and they danced in silence. "For my oldest friend you did a fine job hurting me yourself," Emma muttered under her breath as Killian twirled her. Killian looked over the top of her head, making Emma sigh a sigh of relief that he didn't hear her, but he did. His heart felt like it broke all over again like it did during their fight in the garden when she said he meant nothing to her, but what could he do? She was obviously deluding herself with the thought of loving him because she was way too good for the likes of him.

"What is it you want from me Lieutenant?" Emma asked finally, as he spun her again.

"Just to have a pleasant conversation, which you seem to have no interest in making it."

"There might be a time I would have Lieutenant but, forgive the language, I really don't give a darn."

"I am sure that if you could find it in you to care you won't be let down."

"Unfortunately I'm sure I will be if the conversation so far is any hint."

"Well you are very good at giving the second degree to those of us of the male species."

"Only to those who deserve it," she smiled sweetly at him, but her eyes shot daggers at him, but Killian's heart still jumped in his chest, even though he knew the smile wasn't real.

"You know you shouldn't give up on us Princess, you would surprise yourself if you give those around you a chance."

Graham came and took Emma's hand just as Killian bowed then kissed Emma's hand and walked away, leaving Emma just staring after him.

"Are you alright sister?" He asked. Emma opened her mouth to reply when there was a scream and someone came up behind her and pressed a dagger to her throat, just as someone done the same to Graham.

"Move and your brother dies," a voice hissed behind her and then the men moved Emma and Graham to the thrones.

"Anyone who resists causes the Royal family to die," a tall man in black clothing with a hooked nose, black eyes and pale gold hair shouted, as Graham and Emma were forced to their knees, alongside their parents and Regina. Both Emma and Graham glanced over to Regina who shook her head slightly.

"At least tell us what you want!" Charming shouted, glaring at the man.

"Your kingdom of course," the man replied.

A citizen struggled and the man holding Emma pressed his dagger into her skin hard enough to draw blood and drew the dagger straight down, until the top of her dress. Automatically the citizen stopped but Charming, Snow and Graham cried out in rage and Emma saw that the dwarves, Peter and Nathan all of who were tied up, cry out in rage as well.

Emma glared at the man. "Don't you think that us alive kind of runs that plan? You're really not the brightest are you?"

The man chucked. "Oh as feisty as ever Princess Emma. Don't worry my son will get that out of you. See as long as one of you is alive your people won't do anything that would cause one of you to be harmed. So you Princess Emma will be married, with your brother held hostage to make sure you comply with the new regime."

Snow laughed. "Oh you really don't know Emma real well? She's never been good at complying to what people want. That's why she's an excellent princess. She does what's needed for the best of her people, no matter the risk or cost to herself or loved ones."

The man gestured his hand and Killian was brought forward, hands tied up behind his back, and Emma saw a cut echoing her own on his throat.

"I think I can get Emma to see reason."

This time it was Charming's and Graham's turn to laugh.

"Emma hates him," Graham laughed, a tear coming out of his eye.

"And Emma is quite fond of using him as her own personal moving target. Most of the scars on him have been caused by my daughter," Charming added on, a tear rolling down his face too.

The man turned and threw a dagger that landed straight into Killian's right thigh, right as a blood stain appeared through Emma's right on her own right thigh, making the red of Emma's dress even darker. Both Emma and Killian hissed in pain, whipping the fake smiles right off Charming's and Graham's faces.

"You can't hurt me without hurting her," Killian smirked. "And I'm sure you want the Princess at full health for your plan."

"If I kill you it won't matter will it?" The man hissed in anger.

Killian just kept on smirking. "Are you willing to take that risk?"

The man kept staring at Killian then kicked him, causing both Emma and Killian to bend over in pain. Out of the corner of her eye Emma noticed movement, but kept looking at the man. She noticed that her family noticed the same thing and she felt Regina's magic start to come up, urging Graham's and her own to do the same.

Emma started to laugh. "Please keep doing that. Please see if you can get him to stop talking. The sound of his voice is giving me a headache."

"Pray be it that yours does the same to me love. I'm not sure why we all come to hear you lacklustre bubbling all night."

The man looked at them both and laughed.

"I suppose I need new spies in the palace. I was informed the two of you kissed and were deeply in love."

Killian clenched his jaw while Emma just grinned and blew a kiss at Killian. "That's the only ever kiss he's gotten out of me and you even got to witness it."

"How _Charming_ your act is but do you really think it will convince me?"

"What convincing do you need mate? The princess tells the truth. Your welcome to kill me and see what happens to her but I doubt you'll take that risk."

Emma looked over at Regina as Killian continued talking. Regina nodded, noting the man was distracted by Killian and together Regina, Emma and Graham let their magic loose, pushing all those holding them away, up against the wall, leaving the man there without back up.

Just as they did that Red, Kylee, Liam, Nathan and the royal guard attacked, taking out the men standing in the crowd.

Graham moved to untie their parents and Killian as Emma and Regina maintained the hold on the man.

"Get him to the dungeon, in Rumble's old cell," Charming told the guards, allowing Emma and Regina to release their magic holding him. Charming moved to help Emma stand, as Liam did the same for Killian.

"I think we need a meeting," Charming said grimly.


	6. disowning family

**I do not own Once Upon a Time or it's characters or the songs/**

**Ok I can't believe I have 71 followers, I think I am in shock! And 27 favourites, I'm just in awe that you guys like my story! Thank you too you all for the support and following and favouriting this story, it means so much to me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**Rayanna75 - I'm glad you think this is interesting. I promise to explain more about how about one is hurt, the other is hurt and how that works more =) I'm glad you like this story, thank you for reviewing =)**

**CookieCutter101 – I'm thrilled to hear that you loved it and that it made your shitty day a bit better =) Yes I do mean Rumple. My bad…..**

**Thank you all of you (again), it means a lot that (im assuming) that you all like this story, its kind of my baby.**

**Enjoy! (and please review!)**

Just don't give up, I'm workin' it out  
Please don't give in, I won't let you down  
it messed me up, need a second to  
breathe  
Just keep coming around

Hey, whataya want from me?  
Whataya want from me?  
Whataya want from me?

Yeah, it's plain to see  
That baby your beautiful and it's  
nothing wrong with you  
It's me, I'm a freak, yeah  
But thanks for lovin' me 'cause you're  
doing it perfectly

Charming sighed and ran his hand over his face. "So what you're telling me is that we have no idea who is plotting against my family?" He asked, looking up at the flustered council. It had been a week since the ball and a week of council meetings but they were no closer to finding the truth.

"That is what we are saying Charming," Piniacho replied.

"But we must not give in, there is always hope," Hopper replied.

"I think that we can all agree this man and his, acquaintances, will be after Emma and Graham. All his men that we have talked to agree that Emma is the main prize that they are after," Peter said, glancing over at Emma who just glared at the wall.

"If one more person goes after me I swear I will –"

"Be calm dear sister, I promise you that if anyone goes after you again I will personally run them through with my sword," Graham interrupted Emma, placing his hand over hers, causing Emma to smile at him.

"How should we proceed then? Obviously Emma's safety and the kingdoms will need to be addressed," Liam inquired as he, Killian, Cooper and Nathan enter the room and took their seats at the round table. Killian made sure to sit directly across the table from Emma with Liam sitting beside him.

"Then Emma needs to go somewhere safe for a time," Tink suggested, flattering around Regina's head, she was always near Regina, Emma knowing this was because they both shared a bond that no one other than the two of them and perhaps Robin, understood.

"What!" Emma shouted, as Killian's knuckles turned white as he gripped his sword and Graham thumped the table as Snow and Charming looked at one another.

"You promised to never separate us. We are family you said," he growled at his parents, glaring at them.

"Graham it isn't always about what we want," Snow said quietly, looking sadly at him.

"You promised us!" He half yelled, half growled, slamming his fist on the floor.

"You said you would never allow anyone to separate us," Emma stood and glared at her parents right along with her brother.

"This isn't about us," Charming replied calmly, looking evenly at his children.

Emma laughed bitterly. "Of course it's not, it never is about us."

"Emma honey you need to calm down," Regina said softly, as everyone at the table except Killian looked awkwardly around, trying to escape the tensions brewing between the members of the royal family. Killian on the other hand just kept looking at Emma.

"NO! It's my life that is in danger and I want to stay here and help out like you all have raised us to do. We won't hide while our kingdom is in danger," Emma grounded out.

"Not our kingdom Emma, you," Killian spoke up, before Snow or Charming could, who just shared a look, a understanding passing between them.

Emma turned her graze on him. "Stay out of Royal family business _Lieutenant_," she hissed.

"You are the royal family _Princess_ your business, personal or not, is our business," he replied back calmly, unfazed by the death glare she was sending him.

"Emma this is not an enemy any of us are ready to face right now. We need time to find it and to recover from what happen. We lost good people when the broke in and killed the guards before taking us on, and you need to help us. You have to help us set up traps for people looking for you and for the people who will undoubtedly be looking for Graham and Killian too. This is how you help us," Robin said, breaking the silence in the room, as Blue flattered around his and Henry's heads, nodding her head in agreement.

Emma glared at them all. "So you want me to hide. This is what you want, no demand from me."

"At the moment, yes," Snow said quietly.

Emma stood, her body shaking in anger, kicking her seat away from her and she ripped off her jewellery, her necklace, bracelet and three rings, leaving only the plain gold/silver Graham had given her for her 11th birthday and threw it at her parents.

"Then of this moment I denounce my role as princess of the realm and I denounce my place in the royal family. I denounce any responsibilities that come with the royal family and I cut all ties with them," Emma cut her hand, and blood dripped onto the table. "By blood it is done," and with that she walked out of the room.

Graham laughed and stood up. "Hell I agree with her. I denounce anything to do with the royal family of this realm too and cut all ties with them," Graham said, cutting his hand. "By blood it is done," and he followed his sister out of the room.

Emma twirled her drink around in her hand and looked at it. She drunk it and ordered another two. The bartender put them in front of her just as someone sat on the stool next to her and Emma pushed the second drink in front of them. She had known he would have followed her here. He was the only person game to.

"Come to see the peasant drink herself senseless?" She asked bitterly, glaring at her drink.

"Never Swan. Just trying to figure out your angle," Killian replied, leaning back and looking at her.

"No angle, just trying to get myself drunk that way I'll still be drunk when I have to talk to the King and Queen tomorrow. I figure Graham is the better one at this kind of thing so I'd let him handle it," Emma laughed bitterly. "Besides I don't really feel like remembering that much of today."

Killian took a mouthful of drink and sighed. "This is excellent rum love."

"I'm not your love Hook."

"No you are no one's love are you Swan? Tell me is there anything left in that cold heart of your?"

"These is love for people who deserve it," Emma and finished her drink, stood and started to walk away, but Killian grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"Don't go love, we are having such an interesting conversation," he said, tapping the bench twice with his hook.

Emma rolled her eyes, but sat down. "I would call it more like an insulting and belittling conversation."

"Wow big words for a peasant right there Swan."

"Oh my, how rude of me. I should have remembered those words are too difficult of someone of your intelligence. You know you just keep coming around whether I want you here or not don't you? Do you like causing me pain or is that just an added bonus of annoying me?"

"Added bonus I believe," he replied, smirking over at her. "You know all the men in this bar can't stop staring at you Swan."

"Must be your imagination Hook."

Killian shook his head and kept the smirk plastered on his face, not wanting her to see just how mad he was the men think they could look at _his_ Swan. "No it's bloody obvious love you're the most beautiful woman in the bar."

"Flattery will get you nowhere Hook."

"I disagree. I have worked out it out to a fine system."

"Explains why you can't get laid."

"Ouch Swan, that hurt."

Emma smiled coldly at him. "Pitty I don't care."

"I'm afraid what this will mean to all of us," Emma said suddenly, absentmindedly rubbing the cut on her palm. She and Killian had had a few more drinks and she was feeling the effects.

"Whatever means for us all Emma we will figure it out, because disowned or not a lot of people love both you and your brother."

"And you. It's your life that's at risk as well."

"Normal in the life of a Lieutenant love," Killian rose his drink in mock salute and drunk in one gulp.


	7. a pulse of light

**I do not own Once Upon a Time or it's characters or the songs.**

**So we laid my grandmother in her finial resting place on sunday so I dedicate this chapter to her. Isabella Grace, for ever my family's matriarch. **

**I also dedicate this chapter to my uncle who passed away today, just a few hours ago. Uncle David, he was just… amazing.**

**Ok I can't believe I have 83 followers, I think I am in shock! And 33 favourites, I'm just in awe that you guys like my story! Thank you too you all for the support and following and favouriting this story, it means so much to me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**Violetrose9 – I'm glad you think it is amazing and I'm excited to know you cant wait to read more =)**

**Thank you all of you (again), it means a lot that (im assuming) that you all like this story, its kind of my baby.**

**Enjoy! (and please review!)**

I can hear planes flying over my head  
Just hours before you occupied my bed  
In our darkness, we conjured up sunlight  
In our haste, our need, our thirst  
We lost our sight  
But I was inspired tracing the lines in your face  
To the poetry the first time I heard your name  
When I trip from your lips my heart was like a kick drum  
And it silenced the guilt I wasn't raised to hurt anyone

Uh oh does he know that i'm lying in the afterglow  
That i'm lying but I can't go, can't say now  
Make him think he's crazy, while his paranoia grows  
What he should be asking, is where did our love go  
Then I wouldn't be baskin, in another man's afterglow  
Where did the beat go  
Where is the beat  
Where did the beat go

Emma and Graham kneeled in front of Snow and Graham.

"The two of you have renounced the royal family of this kingdom. Do you deny this?" Charming asked, and Snow stared at her children, tears in her eyes as they stubbornly refused to meet either one of their parents' gazes.

"No we do not," Emma replied.

"What will you do with yourselves?" Snow asked softly.

"They are coming with me, your highness, to my palace in the mountains," Regina spoke up, coming to stand next to Emma and Graham, placing a hand on each of their shoulders.

Snow nodded as Liam moved to speak to Charming. "That sounds g-good."

"Captain and Lieutenant Jones have kindly offered their services to take you to the palace," Charming said, as Liam moved back to stand next to his brother.

Graham bowed his head. "Thank you but that is unnecessary. My sister and I will not be traveling with the royal family. We will make our own way there."

"But we insist," Killian said, leaning against the wall, watching both Emma and Graham carefully.

"But we must decline. We wouldn't want to take up your time or take resources away from the royal family," Emma replied stubbornly.

"We will take you up on your kind offer through Captain and Lieutenant," Regina said, smiling sadly T the two men.

"You are all dismissed," Charming sighed, rubbing his temples, weariness settling in his bones at the thought of what was to become of his most beloved children.

"We will always love you," Snow said rising from her throne to embrace her children, both of whom would don't hug her back.

"No matter how far away you are," Charming added on, hugging them as well, undeterred by the fact they wouldn't hug him back either.

"Emma I know you're in there love!" Killian shouted as he banged on the door. Emma groaned and put a pillow over her head.

_Of course it has to be Hook that finds me,_ she thought sourly. She heard the door open and then felt her clothes hit her stomach.

"Get dressed Emma. Bealfire had been summoned by you parents so he won't be coming back here, to his room, anytime shortly love," Hook told her smirking, taking obvious joy in her discomfort. "Your parents have also ordered me to make sure your sword work and archery are up to a good standard."

Emma sat up; making sure the sheets covered her. "Well they haven't ordered me so leave Hook," she ordered, glaring at him, but he wasn't meeting her glaze, instead he was glazing at her body through the thin sheet. Emma threw her pillow at him and hit him right in the face.

"Just enjoying the view love," he said, smirking more as he handed her an edict from her parents. His smirk got larger as she started to swear under her breath, then she glared up at him. Of course he would be the one to hand her the edict ordering her to train with him.

"Get out Hook," she snapped.

"As you wish milady," he said, bowing mockingly at her. "If you are not out in three minutes through _I will_ come in love," he warned, the smirk disappearing off his face as he let himself out.

Emma glared at the door ever few seconds as she quickly got dressed, knowing he would follow through on his threat. _Curse him to hell,_ Emma thought bitterly as she pulled her boots on. _So what if I came here for a quick break from reality. If Bea was good for one thing it was that._ She exited the room, strapping on her sword she quickly made her way to the training grounds, Killian following right behind her.

She turned to face him once they reached their destination. "What first?" She spat out.

"I thought hand to hand would be a good start," he replied, moving over to the ring where hand to hand fights took place.

Emma followed and once in her spot both she and Killian threw their weapons to the side and started to circle one another, both refusing to do the tradition handshake at the beginning. Both knew that by them doing it they would only be mocking the tradition. It was meant to show respect and at the moment neither had much respect for the other.

Emma moved first, aiming a punch to Killian's head, which he blocked, just as she knew he would then she spun, elbowing him right in the jaw causing Killian to fall to the ground.

"You know it's a good thing I only feel your pain when someone else strikes you or if I've broken the skin because I'm sure you'll be feeling that for a while," Emma taunted.

Killian kicked her legs out from underneath her, causing her to fall.

"I'm sure you'll be feeling that too _Love_," he taunted back, standing up, just as she did and both attacked. Emma knew that Killian was holding back, not wanting to hurt her but she wanted, no _needed_ to cause him some pain. She needed to inflict on him the pain he had caused her.

Killian knew what Emma was doing and through he defended himself he knew that he let her land more punches then she should have. He knew what she was doing and he couldn't believe that she was this mad at him. He had wanted to talk to her while they travelled to her Grandmother's palace, wanting to sort this entire situation out, but that hope was dashed when she refused to go along with that idea.

An hour later they finished sparing then they turned to dagger fighting, the sword fighting, dagger throwing and archery, all of which took up another six hours. By the time they were finished it was well and truly dark.

"What time to you leave in the morning?" Emma asked stiffly as they made their way back inside.

"Nine. Thinking of changing your mind love?"

"And be forced to spend more time with you? Not for a moment. I just wanted to know so I could avoid seeing you," she replied then made her way back to her lowly servants' quarters that she had be placed in once she denied the crown.

She closed the door behind her and changed for bed. She blew out the candle and laid down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

_Where did we go wrong? _She asked herself.

_**You went wrong when you pushed him away**_ her conscious told her.

_He pushed me away. He was the one that got secretive and wouldn't talk to me._

_**So you just go and get in bed with a boy who doesn't care about you just because your feelings where hurt.**_

_My feelings weren't hurt,_ she snapped, getting mad at herself. She sat up and grabbed her sword and wrapped her hand around it, and felt the blood drip from her hand onto the floor, trying to shut out the voice

"I want to know why it all went wrong," she whispered to herself and a few tears ran down her face.

As she sat there crying her door opened and Killian walked in. He looked at her quietly as she avoided his gaze but she couldn't help but notice the bandage on his hand.

He walked over to her and quietly he cleaned up her hand. He wrapped the bandage and then put his mouth on one end and pulled it to make it more secure, almost causing Emma to stop breathing at the intimate position. He then cleaned her sword, while Emma just sat there, staring down at the floor.

Killian sat next to her then wrapped his arms around her, making sure that the tip of his hook wouldn't cut her. They just sat there and then lent back on the pillow.

"I wish this all made sense. All this fighting and hurting one another. I wish there was something for us to be fighting towards, instead of just fighting one another. I want to know why it all went wrong," she whispered.

Killian looked down at her but she was asleep.

"I'm sorry love, I really am," he whispered, brushing a lock of her hair aside with his hook and kissed her forehead, memorising her face, which for a change looked peaceful, into his mind and then he closed his eyes.

Both where unaware of the gentle light that pulsed from everywhere they touched, that spread to the rest of their bodies as they fell into a deep sleep.


	8. the dream

**Thank you to all the 38 people who have favourite this story and thank you to all 90 people following this story, it means the world to me to know so many people enjoy this story, so thank you.**

**Guest – thank you. I am glad that you love this story and that you like who I have written Emma. I am so glad to know someone see what I am try to put across about her personality. I think you will like where I am going with regards to Emma and Graham but I shall leave it at that =) I love the name Graham too (its actually my grandfather's name) so I felt like I had to enclude it, expecially seeing as Graham did play a huge part in all their lives.**

**Guest – please don't use that sort of language, I find it highly offensive. She isn't whiny, she's down and out, which is understandable considering the position she is in and everything she has been going through with Killian. I don't mind the criticism but please try to refrain from using that sort of language when you comment on my story/s. I needed Emma upset like she was for this chapter to work the way I wanted it to.**

**Captain-Swan-is-Happening – I am thrilled that you love it so much. I promise this chapter is worth the wait =)**

**I do not own Once Upon a Time or its characters or any song lyrics used.**

**Enjoy! (And please review)**

So how do I justify to the judge and the jury  
The voices in my head that caused this fury  
Never had to play with matches to start a fire  
But it got so cold and i'd thought i'd forgotten desire  
I was your concubine, and then your madonna  
You couldn't see anything beyond your baby's mama  
How long is lonely supposed to last  
I was naked and waiting for you to come back

Uh oh does he know that i'm lying in the afterglow  
That i'm lying but I can't go, can't say now  
Make him think he's crazy, while his paranoia grows  
What he should be asking, is where did our love go  
Then I wouldn't be baskin, in another man's afterglow  
Where did the beat go  
Where is the beat  
Where did the beat go

In another man's afterglow...

There's a cause and effect, although I took the steps  
I dove off of the bridge cause I had nothing left  
All I ever wanted was you  
And in the absence of you  
I fell through

_Emma could hear giggling coming from somewhere to the left of her. Curious she followed the path that lead towards the giggling, feeling quite content. The garden felt and looked familiar but she pushed the thought aside to think about later. She walked into the opening and saw three children playing, one girl and two boys._

_The oldest boy seemed to be about five years old and had short brown hair and piecing blue eyes. He was tall, but slim with an oval face; he reminded Emma of Killian in pictures she had seen of him when he was that age. The second boys seemed to be about three and a half. He had short blonde hair that was spiked up and blue eyes. He was holding something over the girl's head, smirking like Emma remembered Killian doing when they were children and he tormented her. He was tall like the other boy, but he had a cubby face unlike the other boy that Emma found adorable, but he had the same oval shaped face._

_The girl seemed to be only two and was glaring up at the boy reminded Emma of both herself and her father. She was very petite looking face and she was very small and thin. She had long, slightly wavy blonde hair and piecing blue eyes just like the two boys._

_"James give it back," she ordered, trying not to giggle, as he pulled faces at her._

_"James play nicely, you know better than to harass your sister," Emma found herself saying or rather scolding._

_"Mother!" All three children yelled, running up to her and hugging her tightly. Emma once again surprised herself by knelling down to embrace them all._

_"Be careful of my belly please. Remember your little brother or sister is growing in there," she reminded them, smiling down at them._

_"My money is on a little sister," a voice said coming up behind them._

_"Father James says it's going to be a little brother but I think it's going to be a little sister too," the oldest said, rushing up to the man,_

_Emma stood and brushed of the dirt from her pants and turn to see Killian behind her but it wasn't her Killian. This Killian was older, with a hint of grey in his jet black hair. His body was slightly more muscular then it was now and Emma scolded herself for noticing. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a young girl let go of Killian's hand and move towards the oldest boy who was obviously her twin._

_Killian walked over and kissed her softly on the lips. "How are you feeling this morning love?" he asked._

_"**Your** child kept me up all night long. I swear my ribs must be cracked or something with how often he or she kicked me last night," she replied, glaring up at him. Emma was in shock. There was no way she and Killian where ever going to have **one** child together let alone five._

_"I'm sure that is a trait they got off you love not me. Remember how many times you would come and kick me for no reason as a child just to run off again?"_

_"I had plenty of good reasons," Emma replied._

_Killian drew her closer and put his hand and hook on her hips. "I love you my darling Swan."_

_Emma smirked. "I love you too Hook."_

_Killian laughed and kissed her softly on her lips. "I'm glad this worked out like this love. I honestly thought we would never end up together, especially after your 17th ball."_

_Emma smiled and put her hand on his cheek. "Same here but it has worked out now."_

Emma woke up with a start, sitting up straight in bed. "No, no, no, no, no, no. There is no way that will ever happen," she whispered quietly to herself. "Killian won't fight for me. There is no way that could ever happen." A tear rolled down her check, landing on Killian's leg but Emma took no notice. She didn't even notice Killian staring at her, wonder written over his face as he glazed at her.

She got up quietly and got dressed; ignoring Killian who she thought was still asleep and left, quietly closing the door behind her.

Killian sat up and looked at the door. If he didn't know better he would say that he and Emma just had the same dream, about their future no less, but that was impossible. Both knew that they never end up together. Killian had been in love with Emma ever since he saw her crying in that cot and she had stopped when she had seen him, however he knew there was no way Emma would ever love him. She was too good, too pure, too innocent to be with the likes of him. People still treated him and Liam with scorn when they saw them walking, all because of what their father did and then of course they all thought Killian was about to become a pirate and rob them all, all because of his hook.

He sighed and got up, heading towards his room. He wished there was a way he could be with her, be at peace with her, even if it was only for one night.

Emma closed the door behind her, and practically sprinted to Graham's room. She flung open the door and as she expected he was awake, writing away at his desk. He stopped as Emma pitched herself onto his bed.

"What's wrong little swan?" he asked, mimicking their father who would always ask her that when she was sad, moving to lay down on the bed next to her.

"Killian. He caught me in Bea's room and then gave me an edict from our parents stating that I _Had_ to train with him cause they were worried about my skill level which is stupid because they know my skill level they just wanted me and Killian to sort things out which didn't happen. Then we separated and I got upset and cut my hand and he came in and cleaned up my hand and my sword then hugged me and I wished that I knew what we were fighting for then I dreamt about our future but it couldn't have been because there is no way that Killian and I would ever be together and have children together it won't happen. He won't fight for me and he just rejects me every time I try to tell him what I feel," she gushed out, while Graham wrapped her in his arms and hugged her.

"Emma Killian loves you but is convinced you don't love him, not really, that it's a faze and if you get together you will realise this and break his heart so he pushes you away," he said gently.

Emma snorted. "Whoever told you that brother lied brother. Killian doesn't love me and he will never will."

Graham shook his head at his stubborn sister, knowing that she wouldn't believe anything he said when she was in this state so they sat there, silent for a while lost in thought.

"Is everything set for tomorrow?" Graham asked quietly, breaking the silence.

"Everything on my end and everyone else's is so as long as you're good we are all set," she replied.

"Do you think this will work?"

"Of course I do little brother. After all I thought of it."

Emma felt Graham relax at her words and soon enough he was sleeping peacefully beside her, his mind at ease but Emma's wasn't. She desperately, with ever fibre in her body wanted to believe what Graham had said about Killian but she just couldn't. She wanted him so badly but at the same time she knew she just couldn't risk her heart breaking once more, she wouldn't be able to handle that. It had barely held together when Bealfire cheated on her and Emma knew that she wouldn't ever be able to get over Killian, that he so consumed her that she had forgotten what it was like to want anyone else. She didn't see anyone else. All she saw was Killian, all she thought about was Killian but it was no good. She knew that there would never be a chance for them, no matter what her dream was about. No matter if it showed the future because she knew the future was always, always shifting.


End file.
